2nd floor. The President did not fart in this elevator.
4th floor. The President never met the people who farted in this elevator.
7th floor. The people who farted in this elevator were volunteers, and the President met them just once in passing.
8th floor. Yes, the President knew the farters, but he fired them as soon as he discovered their flatulence.
11th floor. The President did not hire the farters.
12th floor. The President hired the farters but only on the strong advice of outside counsel.
14th floor. The President hired the farters personally, sure, but he did not authorize them to fart in this elevator.
17th floor. Look, everybody farts in elevators. It’s a common occurrence, there is absolutely nothing illegal about it, the opposition farts in elvators all the time. If the President were to fart in an elevator – and we’re not saying he ever has – we’re certain it would be a perfectly justifiable event.
18th floor. The President farted in this elevator.
copyright 2018 David Cornelius all rights reserved
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